Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Week 6 & 7 - Part 1

Week 6 &  7– Part 1

Nappy Free Nightmare

We’ve been using re-useable nappies (diapers) with Francis since he was a month old. (Side note they had paid for themselves by 6 months!!! when compared with disposable ones). We also use Weleda barrier cream but every now and then he gets a tiny rash so we give him some nappy free time.

I’m sure the title of this one has given it all away already, but let me paint the picture for you. Hope you’re not eating…….

A few minutes after Francis had been crawling around I saw a little wet path on the floor so went in search of the “odor” eating spray we used to keep for our old (sadly departed) dog. I guess I must have spent too long searching for it – never did find it – and thus returned to the kitchen – for that was the scene of the earlier crime – to see Sunny the dog licking his lips and nudging a nice brown well-formed turd  around with his nose. 

Urgh- so gross! Not the turd part, well I guess that is kinda gross, but the dog trying to eat it?  There was a lot of un-digested spinach visible, and since the height of Sunny’s culinary experiences to date  is cat shit, then this was probably shaping up to be a flavor-some morsel. I had obviously arrived just in time.

After mentally dealing with that thought, I saw that Francis has gotten a bit, erm , well how do you say this in polite company?, ah yes, shit all over his ankles. Delicately picking the wee fellow up we made an incident free retreat for a clean up!

Who me?

Wee man is becoming very expressive with his body language since words have not formed part of his vernacular yet..

This is his “You looking at me?” shrug or his “You wanna piece of this punk, huh? Well do ya?” shrug:

And this next one is the expression I get when asking Francis how his dinner ended up on the floor :

Share and Share alike

Yep, that’s me looking pretty green after talking to Hugh down the white porcelain telephone at 2:45am on Saturday morning. Well it was a blue bucket to be precise. Francis got a vomity bug on Tuesday evening and I sat up with him and cleaning up for him until about 3am on Wednesday. I was very meticulous in washing my hands etc and thought I had gotten away with it. Pat on the back.

Francis was fine on Wednesday morning, but then started to have some loose BMs on Thursday afternoon and on Friday morning (this latter one being like his young baby poo-namis that was all over his legs and up his back). With the latter one I did get a fair amount on myself whilst cleaning him up. Again, meticulous handwashing and hygiene.

However, by about 6:30pm it became obvious to me what was going to happen, so I prepared the spare room, got the bucket from the garage, and well just cursed my god-damned luck. As I relinquished myself from all parenting responsibilities for the next 16 hours, so did all of my bodily sphincters. First non-alcohol related spew-poo-fest (if that's what you can call it) since  a dodgy chicken sandwich in London in 1995.

Poor Ananda followed not close behind, her bout of Francis vomity bug starting about Saturday morning. Thinking of maybe trying to wear latex gloves and a mask next time. First rule of first aid: "First protect yourself".

The dogs have so far proven immune. Maybe there’s a moral there………


Although not using words of his own Francis understands way more then he lets on. (Mental note – I need to be very aware of this now!) As Ananda and I lay on the couch in our unhealthy states on Saturday and Sunday, Francis brought a book over for us to read for him. Once we read that a few times I said “why don’t you go and fetch another one” – and lo and behold off he popped to get another one.  He repeated this “trick” every time we ask him! Awesome.

Trying to be Francis to learn the word “beer” and “tea” and “job”.


Thanks to everyone who read my four part “Story of Francis”. I’ve had lots of positive feed back about it, and comments from many people who have been, or are in the same boat as us.

Numbers :

3,000,000 – the number of illegal immigrants Trump has claimed voted illegally in the US election
0% - the truth involved in his statement
0% - time he spent fact checking this (look on snope.com you idiot)

No comments:

Post a Comment