Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Cataclysmic Squirrel War
"Never has so much, been owed by so many to so few". So said Churchill during the Battle of Britain some time ago, and as the political Battle For Britain wages across the Pond I almost forgot to tell you about the hand to hand combat I engaged in this morning with the bushy tailed bastards that invade my garden.
Whilst Ananda and I were making salads this morning I saw a squirrel run right past our patio door. As quick as a flash of syrup I launched myself through the door, stooping gracefully on my way out to grab a shoe, and chased, not one but two of the vandals off the deck.
In their desperation to escape they tried to clamber, one up the side of the house, and the other up the trellis for the jasmine. Launching my shoe, with about the same accuracy as the one thrown at W's head, I scared one of them up and over the neighbours fence. It was every suirrel for themselves at that point!
The second vandal had a harder escape as he jumped onto the metal down pipe for the rain gutter, and there he clung for his dear life, since squirrels don't climb metal so well.
We stood face to face, eye to eye as I wondered what I could find to throw at him. He watched, heart beating for my next move.
Being in the garden, the closest thing at hand was an empty 3 gallon watering can which was duly launched at him. I would like to say I scored a direct hit, but alas no. However, victory was still mine as he fell to the ground from his slippery metal sanctuary and then scrambled up onto the bush.
Unluckily for him he chose the wrong branch and headed away from safety and towards my hose, which I obviously turned on full blast and gave the little bugger a good soaking as he fled, in squirrel defeat, back up the garage roof.
I promise tomorrow I'll get back to talking about the garbage challenge. It's weighing in time again!